Well this weekend I spent roughly 24 hours in a vehicle driving, and normally on something like that I spend much of the time thinking. I mean besides the obvious thinking about the road and vehicles and gas mileage. But this time I did not do as much thinking as I normally do, and I am not entirely sure what the reason was. In fact I almost appreciated the time more being able to just dump whatever was in my head space and just be empty for a bit. Now I know this kinda sounds shallow, or mind numbing to you, but to me to just not think for 24 hours while being awake was a gift. In my daily schedule, I am always thinking, thinking about the next event, thinking about the next coffee meeting, thinking about this project and that project, developing curriculum, talking to leaders, communicating with parents, thinking about family, friends, life... the thinking never stops. The place I notice this the most is on Sunday Mornings where despite my involvment in the service I should be able to worship just as all those I am with. But I am not. I find my mind racing to this or that. I spot someone in the audience and I think about them, or I'm trying to map my escape route so I can make sure I get a chance to talk to that one key person. It has been a while since I genuinely was able to engage in worship on Sunday Mornings. Not because the desire isn't there, but because my head space is full. And so to go 24 hours with minimal interactions, and minimal thoughts was incredable. I listened to music, I looked at the road, and I emptied my mind. Now that I am at work though I think that I need to be careful. If my mind has been emptied, then now is the time to be selective about what goes back in, to control my thoughts. What are those items I need to focus on, what are those items that just clouded the space, and what are those items that just take up space.
For me personally one of those items I need to focus on is how to I worship God. One that is clouding my thoughts (not necessarily bad but has no resolution in the near future) has a lot to do with our current talk series at youth nights. The question is why should I care? we posed this question at youth the other night in response to Brandon Heaths song Give me your eyes. Though this is an important question to ask, the answer could be a deep and long journey to find, and though I need to take that journey I should put clear boundaries around that thought so that it does not cloud the rest of my head space eventually choking everything out and becoming more of a problem then a thought. And perhaps that thought I need to not focus on as much is "what about me?" What about my pleasure, what about my entertainment, what about my fun what about me? I agree that a balance is needed between the incoming and outgoing aspects of one self, but to focus singularly on oneself is a trap of selfishness and apathy.
As I reread this blog its content does not make much more sense then the thoughts that race through my mind, but I guess thats why i call it random ramblings. When do you get a chance to empty your mind? When its empty, what do you fill it again with? What do you think?
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